Lyrics Silver knives flicker in kitchen lighting and flames (blades)
With scissor-like precision you'll miss if you look away
Give a cold shiver when the dinner hits the plate
With sinister grin, spinning the whisk in a figure eight
Landing never sticks when I'm kick-flipping griddle cakes
Spin to win the mixer, pour the liquid, set the shit to bake
My freezer reads "bring a pair of ice skates"
Fridge is full of tupperware to covet til your dying days (breath)
Wedge of lemon heads the best beverages
Dinner guests are sending letters to their next of kin
Whether France, India; Vietnam, or Mexican
Rest in peace the recipe when I have perfected it
Battered and breaded it
Buttered and leavened, it's cake batter spattered like crime scene evidence
Bled a skeptic of their every last question
When I sent em home bloated with a script for ozempic
Watch how he chop, boy (watch)
Watch how he goes all karate on that bok choy (chop)
Ladle in the stew like (you like)
Blades in a duel make a trail in the moonlight (cool, right?)
Crowd in the thousands are bowing
Technique and prowess make a meal into a tower
Ingredients are measured down to the fluid ounces
I bake like an earthquake; bring down houses (houses, houses)
Main course'll make a bear hibernate
And flaming arrow habaneros could ignite a fireplace
Bundt cake center tunnel into timespace
Wide array of blades like a visit to the iron age
Spices on a belt a size to make kuiper faint
Dishes so delicious split your britches, turn you tire-shaped
(Time to annihilate) dinner like a benadryl, send a diner right to sleep even when they're wide awake
Got garlic and the herbes de provence
Polished and perfected each and every mother sauce
Shake and bake a Cake Boss; Gordon looking fucking raw,
Guy Fieri pales in comparison to what I'm on
And what I'm on, got the rice noodles mixing with the peanut butter sauce, eat it like it oh my god
make red thai tea like it's tai chi
Best part: animals? Nuh-uh, not a one involved
Watch how he chop, boy (watch)
Watch how he goes all karate on that bok choy (stop)
Ladle in the stew like (you like)
Blades in a duel make a trail in the moonlight (cool, right?)
Crowd in the thousands are bowing
Technique and prowess make a meal into a tower
Ingredients are measured down to the fluid ounces
I bake like an earthquake; bring down houses (houses, houses)
Know how to make italian without any animalia
I finish the saturnalia and top it with ten vidalias
I'm frying a million scallions , I'll feed a fucking battalion
Hash browns by the pound, soup by the gallon
Machine gun feeds a hundred at least
Every battle is a banquet, every bullet is a feast
No gunpowder, every kind of yeast
Enemy at the gates, they say they're ready to eat
cutting an onion into strings fit for shoes
Hit it with the butter, let it melt real smooth
Then you let it turn gold and the sugar makes a move
Then you mix a bit of flour cuz we're gonna make a roux
Slide a red wine into all the little grooves
Next is a broth out of bouillon cubes
Bread and something shredded, then we bake it for a few
And Boom motherfucker, that's a french onion soup